Christians are straight up FREAKS
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
