i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
