Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
