she was so not down for the gang bang
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
