You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
