he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
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