i was born a porn star she said
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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