You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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