He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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