better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize