THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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