Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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