Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
