I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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