Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize