She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
North Korea, Best Korea!
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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