Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
