im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
you had me at cake vodka
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
