No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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