Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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