That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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