3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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