i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
