Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
