I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
