Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
