come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
