wat bout pragnant strippers??
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
