i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
