Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
