I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I pour the whiskey from now on
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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