he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
