i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
