So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
