i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize