I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
