clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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