I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
