She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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