Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
