i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
