she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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