my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize