Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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