I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize