Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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