Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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