you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
