Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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