meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
