I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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