that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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