Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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