i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
