he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
