I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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