I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
