The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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