Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
