Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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