Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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